Toradora! Vol. 1 Page 16

  That’s almost like—almost exactly as though—

  “I see.”

  He heard Kitamura’s voice, which seemed to have a smile in it.

  “That’s fine. I think I understand how you feel, Aisaka. Anyway…if the truth is that you’ve gotten closer to Takasu, that’s okay. Honestly, I’m relieved to hear it.”

  “R… relieved…?”

  “Yeah. Do you remember? I confessed to you myself, just about a year ago. I said…you’re beautiful, and I like your straightforward personality and the way you don’t hide your anger! I dig it!”

  No one ever told me anything about that! Ryuuji’s eyes opened wide. Astonishment overflowed him as he stood there, but Aisaka said nothing. The only one who was so surprised that his legs turned to jelly was Ryuuji. He was the only one who hadn’t known.

  “And, well, right after, you turned me down in one second flat.”

  “…I remember. It’s not like I’d forget. I’ve heard a lot of confessions, but that was definitely the weirdest. Since then, whenever you came to my class to talk to Minorin about club stuff, I always recognized you… I remembered.”

  “Is that so? You gave me the cold shoulder so hard, I thought you didn’t even remember what happened. Back then, I told you how I felt because I thought you were beautiful—but since you’ve known Takasu, you’ve grown even more charming. It’s like…you’re able to put on a funny face, now.”

  “A-a funny face? Me?”

  “That’s right. Whenever you’re with Takasu, you always make really happy faces. So, I was relieved. Takasu is a really great guy. And Aisaka, I think that the way you think of him really makes you a lovely girl.”

  It seemed that Kitamura was smiling brightly. And then…

  “…Wh-what did I just say?!”

  He heard the sound of Aisaka’s shout as she realized the mistake she had made.

  “Wait, wait a second…what am I saying…? Kitamura-kun, what are you saying?! Ryuuji doesn’t have anything to do with this, um…what?! My face is funny?! No wait…what?! Now hold on a second! Did I tell you that I like you?! Did I actually tell you that?! Uh, but…no way, what’s going on here?! I don’t like it, I don’t like it one bit, what is this?”

  On and on she went, becoming more flustered by the moment. Having lost herself, the Palmtop Tiger howled. Anyone other than Kitamura probably would have been in grave danger.

  “Aisaka. It’s okay. It’s fine,” he said.

  “I-I-I-It’s fine?! What’s fine about this?! I don’t even know what I’m saying! What’s fine about that?!”

  “Thanks for the sentiments, really. I’m really happy. I think from here on, we’ll definitely become good friends.”

  “Fr… fri…”

  Still in a state of panic, Aisaka’s voice seemed no longer able to form words.

  “That’s right, friends.”

  Friends.

  That hadn’t been the relationship Aisaka had asked for. Naturally, Aisaka should have said, No, that’s not what I meant.

  That’s what you should say, Ryuuji thought.

  But despite that…

  “…Friends… You and I…become…”

  But even if she should have said it like that, the fact was, she hadn’t. Aisaka couldn’t say, I like you, I want to be your girlfriend, not just your friend. I rejected you once when you confessed, but while I was watching you, I came to like you. I like you now. I want to be your girlfriend.

  She still couldn’t say those utterly important words and fix what she’d done.

  The Palmtop Tiger, a self-proclaimed queen, withdrew her claws of her own accord. “Yeah.” With that one syllable word, she withdrew one step from that place. She had retreated.

  “Well then, see you tomorrow!”

  Kitamura’s cheeriness, at best, was filled with a considerateness that never changed, regardless of his mood. At worst, it was the bright voice of someone who couldn’t read the room.

  Aisaka recovered from her panic and went back to her normal monotonous way of speaking. “See you tomorrow. Bye.”

  And so it went.

  Ryuuji slapped his forehead in disappointment. He scratched his head and closed his eyes. He could hear from the retreating voices that the two of them had started walking in different directions. He could only groan.

  “…She is the biggest klutz…”

  You didn’t get Kitamura to understand.

  Just how many tears, smiles, and fears do you have in that heart of yours that Kitamura criticized dead-on? Just how much loneliness, how much of the love you feel for Kitamura—how many frail emotions are you hiding?

  And even though it must hurt, just how kind are you? He didn’t understand what you were saying. You didn’t get him to understand you at all.

  He braced his feet, which had gone numb from the cold, and slowly started walking.

  After saying goodbye and leaving like that, Aisaka had to be somewhere nearby. She would be walking by herself, wearing an expression that said she was completely fine, while hiding a heart no one else knew. And when she turned her back to Kitamura, Ryuuji knew she must have cried with a voice no one else knew, too. With uncertain steps, while no one was looking, she was letting herself cry. He was certain of that.

  And so, if he was the only one who knew, a question remained: What was he, Takasu Ryuuji, to do?

  “That’s easy,” he said.

  His response was determined, but he didn’t actually know what he was supposed to do—or at least, his head didn’t. His chest knew, though. And his skin did, too. His bones, his muscles, the body that had spent such a long time with Aisaka—it all knew.

  Because of that, as long as he left it up to his body to move him—and didn’t head in the wrong direction—he would be able to go just where he needed to.

  He was certain.

  ***

  In twilight, like a certain other time they had walked home together…

  “…What is it with you?”

  Ryuuji, after some running, finally caught up with Aisaka and grabbed her shoulder. It was a lane in a quiet neighborhood with few passersby.

  Aisaka turned around and gave him a dubious expression. She glared at him as he panted, out of breath.

  “Stop it. You’re not my dog anymore, so you don’t need to hang around me.” Her assertion was cold and blunt as she shook off his hand and tried walking ahead.

  “You’re close to crying,” he said to her back. “You’re probably depressed about your failed confession, aren’t you? I mean…it wasn’t quite a rejection, at least.”

  “Tsk!” Leaping back to gain some distance, Aisaka shouted, “Y-you were…spying on us?!”

  “…I didn’t do it on purpose, I’ll have you know. It was only because you messed up. Why, of all places, did you make your confession under the men’s restroom? I went in there and happened to hear you.”

  Aisaka’s cheeks turned red enough to see under the moonlight. “I-Is that true?!” She spoke falteringly—it seemed, somehow, she really hadn’t known.

  “Well, what are you going to do? Do you want to go shopping for dinner? Or maybe, in commemoration of your failed confession, we should go to that family restaurant from yesterday again? I’ll even listen to your whole sob story—but one day only, got it?”

  “…Wait. What? What are you saying?”

  Aisaka was petrified as she faced Ryuuji. Her large eyes opened wide, as though faced with something unbelievable.

  “Now that I think about it, there’s a special on pork today.”

  “I-I’m not talking about pork!”

  “So, you want beef?”

  “Not the beef, either! It’s not that… Why?! What is this?! You’re already…”

  “Do you really want to cook by yourself?”

  “I just told you! I told you… you can stop, already! We’re through! We’re not doing any of that anymore…”

  “I’m staying by your side,” he told her clearly. At a loss for words
, Aisaka scowled. Still looking at those eyes, Ryuuji said it again. He spelled it out for her.

  “I’m by your side. I’ll cook your meals. Come over, just like always. I’ll make your bento, too, and I’ll come get you in the morning. So…”

  “Don’t say it… don’t say that!” Her shriek echoed though the quiet lane. “Do you even understand what you’re saying?! If you do stuff like that, people will get the wrong idea all over again! Minorin still isn’t fully convinced! You really don’t care what Minorin thinks of you?!”

  “Not really.” The words came out of his mouth with surprising ease.

  “In that case, next time I’ll make a scene. I’ll throw a fit while Kitamura is around, to clear up any misapprehensions.”

  “Wh-why are you…?” A tear dripped down her white face.

  See, look, Ryuuji thought. She really was crying in a place no one—except me—would see.

  “What is it, what’re you…? Why? Why would you do that?! I told you you’re not a dog anymore! So, you don’t need to do that anymore!”

  “…I don’t even know, myself. But I want to do it. Because you’ll cry. I can’t just leave you on your own. I can’t help but worry about whether you’re hungry. I’m the compulsively kind Ryuuji-kun, remember?”

  “Wh-what’s with you?!” Aisaka glared at Ryuuji through her tears, with eyes that had a strong light in them.

  “Who asked you to do that?! I’m not a kid, so leave me alone! I don’t want you to worry about me or anything!”

  “Ohh, is that right?” Ryuuji countered.

  Finally, his brain understood what the rest of him already knew.

  The reason why he wanted to be by Aisaka’s side.

  The reason why he couldn’t help but worry. Why he couldn’t leave her alone.

  “And I’m not going to be your dog anymore, all right? I’m going to stand beside you, side by side.”

  “…What?!”

  “A dog can’t actually stand by you.”

  He wasn’t a dog. A dog was all wrong.

  A dog came when it was called, but a tiger wouldn’t call on anyone. It wouldn’t ask for help from anyone; it was a tiger. A tiger was just that type of beast.

  Because of that, because he was there now, he was no one’s dog.

  He might laugh, and maybe someone would laugh at him—but despite that, Ryuuji continued. Now, no matter what happened, he wanted to say it. He wanted to tell Aisaka.

  “I’m a dragon. You’re a tiger. Since forever, the only creature strong enough to stand by a tiger has been the dragon. Because of that, I’ll become Ryu—a dragon—and I’ll keep on standing by your side.”

  In order to stand beside the Palmtop Tiger, Takasu Ryuuji would become a dragon. He had decided. Even if he were laughed at, even if she made fun of him—but then…

  “…Ai…saka…?”

  She wasn’t making fun of him. She wasn’t even laughing at him.

  The girl before him seemed incapable of even making a sound. She was bracing both her legs as she stood, and her cheeks were wet from tears, as she looked straight up at Ryuuji.

  She looked like she could be angry. She looked like she could be sad. She looked like she could be frightened or troubled. And, of course, she looked like she could be surprised.

  She was stoppering her small body full of emotions. Like a bomb nearly about to go off, she clenched tight one fist.

  “…Tai…ga…”

  When he said her name, Aisaka’s—Taiga’s eyelids fluttered, as though she had been flicked.

  “Equality is like that, right?” he went on. “You’ll call me Ryuuji. So, I’ll call you Taiga.” Then he said, “That’s fine, right?”

  That was when it happened.

  “What’s that supposed to mean?!” she said. The shadow that lengthened from the base of her feet seemed to suddenly build up in size. It must have been a trick of the eyes, but…

  “Just how bold can you get?! You think you’re good enough to use my first name?! E-equals? Don’t make me laugh! What a shameless display! Understand your place, Ryuuji! You idiot!”

  “…Uh…”

  Yup, the bomb had gone off.

  “Hah, you don’t even understand the first thing about what you’re saying—do you?! If you did, no way could you say things like that! What was that? Oh, I see, you must—”

  Like a machine gun, Taiga threw one insult at him after another. Then, suddenly, she closed her mouth. This was it—the most frightening moment. She eyed him with one narrowed and ruthless eye, then approached him from below, trying to make him slip and fall. She would intimidate her opponent with the sheer determination she emitted from her body until they couldn’t move.

  This was the Palmtop Tiger’s real power.

  “Are you saying you have a crush on me?” she said.

  “…Dumba—”

  “Hmph, of course not! Not even you would be so stupid to overstep yourself that far, or maybe I should say that you don’t have the guts for it, huh?!”

  “…Ah… Uh…” He was so scared he didn’t see the smirk forming on her lips. He returned her glare and desperately tried to shout something. “Of course not!”

  Yeah, of course not. If love were the feeling he felt toward Minori, then this was a different emotion.

  There was one thing Ryuuji was sure of, though. He wanted to take care of Taiga—this Palmtop Tiger. Even if what he felt was different from love, he wanted to be by her side. While he was next to her, he wanted to become that kind of guy. That was it. And it was enough, right? Was it wrong for him to want that?

  “…Damn it!” he said. “We’re going to the supermarket! And we’re buying pork!”

  He set out, taking long, resolute strides and huffing with determination.

  Their lives would continue on. They had more than enough time. So, this was enough; he had made his mind up. He wasn’t going to think about the hard stuff. Right now, the menu was more important.

  “If we find good pork today, how about we make pork shabu shabu?” he said. “Oh, but what about a simple grilled pork…? Hey, why aren’t you coming?!”

  He had kept up his brisk pace as he spoke, but upon noticing that Taiga wasn’t following, he made a U-turn.

  “Hurry up and come,” he urged her. Naturally, he didn’t take her hand—instead, he just poked her elbow with the corner of his bag.

  “Ryuuji…I want a yogurt parfait.”

  “Huh? Wh-what, you want to go to the family restaurant instead? Just when I got into the mood for making stuff.”

  “After that, we’ll have pork. With fried ginger—no, a stew, of course. Make sure it’s actually creamy.”

  “What? Stew is fine, but would we have any room left for it? It’s already five. We always have dinner before six thirty at my house… Hey, don’t ignore me! Why are you walking ahead of me?”

  “…Hey. Ryuuji.”

  Taiga, who had started walking ahead of him of her own accord, suddenly stopped and turned around. Her transparent gaze passed through him. Involuntarily, he tripped up on his words.

  “…What is it, T… Taiga?”

  He became flustered again and cast his gaze toward the twilight sky.

  “Can’t you shut up for a bit?”

  Her terrible words made him doubt his own ears. They bore through him. Before Ryuuji’s eyes, Taiga sighed purposefully.

  “Right now, I’m heartbroken. You can at least understand that, right? Aren’t you even a little worried about me? Of course, you’ll help me come up with the next plan, right? Because I’m not giving up on Kitamura-kun after such a small setback! Also, what were you going on about just now? That you’re a dragon? Well, I don’t care whether you’re a dragon or a dog. If you’re gonna stay by me like you said, then you better work just as hard to make me happy.”

  Where did those tears from earlier go? he wondered. The Palmtop Tiger really was the Palmtop Tiger. She toyed with his heart like it was nothing, with spiteful words and a torment
ing gaze.

  Just how sharp were those claws and teeth of hers? She was bad-tempered, ferocious—just how far would this palmtop-sized, man-eating tiger go to get her way?

  Moreover, what kind of fate awaited the one who claimed he would stick beside her?

  “M… maybe I acted rashly…” Without thinking, Ryuuji raised his voice and groaned. He stood there, motionless. It was possible he had just made a mistake. He remained in that spot, deep in thought, with both his eyes firmly closed—and because of that, he missed it.

  A bit farther off, Taiga was watching Ryuuji. Then, she looked down and smiled.

  “…He called me ‘Taiga’…”

  Butterflies fluttered in her stomach, until finally, like the cooing of a diminutive dove, a laugh transformed her unseen face.

  Even to this day, no one in the world has seen it.

  END

  Afterword

  Moment by moment, I’m packing on more pounds—TakeYuyu, here. These days, the pudge around my waist is pregnant with a sense of urgency, and each time I look at it, I realize anew: This isn’t just a stomach anymore, but a belly. But, what if that belly is full of hope? What if it’s full of dreams? What if it’s full of smiles—what then? Right? If it’s that kind of belly…then the bigger the better, right? If you don’t say yes, then I don’t know what will happen to me! (Out of the corner of my eye, I’m staring intensely at an unopened pack of Donbei instant noodles…)

  Well then, did you enjoy the first volume of Toradora!? To all those who picked it up, I thank you so, so much! If you enjoyed it even a little bit, I’m happy.

  Q: I didn’t see any parts with battles, or worldbuilding, or anything that really fired me up—what gives?

  A: That’s by design.

  Toradora’s world is meant to feel like one of those completely ordinary slice-of-life stories. It’s a plain and simple romcom, and I plan on continuing to make it light and fluffy. Please, please, please stick around for the continuation of Toradora. You are absolutely more than welcome to.

  One more thing—your readership allowed me to write a series called Our Dear Tamura-kun, and I wanted to thank all those who sent me their thoughts about it in the mail! I read all of them, and they are very important to me. I want to fall asleep hugging each and every one of them—the letters and I are in a serious relationship. In response to receiving all those voices of support, I intend to work hard so that I can tell you about new developments regarding Tamura-kun.