Toradora! Vol. 9 Read online

  As for him, he thought he might stand one more time—or maybe two or three or countless times—in front of Ami’s heart, but at a distance where he couldn’t miss her voice.

  “Well, how about we go, Takasu-kun? There are places we should get going to.”

  ***

  “Oh!”

  “…”

  Who would have guessed that Taiga would have actually gone to her job after running away like that? He couldn’t have imagined that she’d be that much more serious about the job than Ryuuji, who arrived just barely in time, or that she would already be standing imposingly right in front of the wagon.

  “I…I can’t believe you actually came.”

  “Of course I’d come. It’s still a gig even if I’m not working. It’s a job.”

  Hmph, Taiga turned fiercely away.

  The store owner had put up a sign on the front of the wagon that read “Today: Half-off sale!” in red letters.

  It might have been because it was an annual tradition, or because customers stopped when they saw the red-lettered sign, but the half-off Valentine’s Day chocolates sold surprisingly better that day than the day before, which was supposed to be the real day when everyone should have been buying them. There were a lot of mothers who brought their children around and might have been buying them as a snack, and several men who came to buy two or three of the prettily-wrapped chocolate boxes.

  Ryuuji talked and moved his hands all day with barely enough time to breathe. Taiga kept her mouth pressed tightly together in a line and didn’t say anything. When he had a break from the customers, Ryuuji tried to say something to her, but when their eyes met, his words got caught in his throat. Taiga stayed, speechless even when her skirt came close to burning on the stove and he grabbed the hem in order to protect it. Even then, she didn’t move.

  If telling her his feelings was easier—if he could have told her the things he wanted to share, the things he didn’t want to share, and everything else in a way she could easily understand, then what would he tell Taiga in this moment? What would Taiga share with him? What would come to life if that happened?

  That was what Ryuuji wanted to know. He wanted Taiga to feel that whatever came to being would make her glad and happy.

  With his mouth still shut tight, he stole a glance at Taiga where she was beside him. Taiga really was like a rock. She was standing stock-still as she was watching the flow of people on the store-lined street.

  “I heard Minorin.”

  “Taiga…”

  While there were no customers, her voice was quiet—incredibly quiet—as she let those words slip from her mouth.

  “Don’t…don’t laugh.”

  “I’m not laughing…”

  “Don’t laugh… Don’t look at me. Don’t turn toward me.”

  He imagined she must be bright red to her ears and probably didn’t even have her eyes open. There was an incredible amount of shame in her voice as she spoke.

  “Don’t laugh… Please. After we finish with work, let me tell you something. If I try running away…then make sure to catch me. Please.”

  Like he’d ever laugh at her.

  “Sure.”

  Who would ever laugh at Taiga’s feelings?

  As Ryuuji kept working, he visualized a dream. It wasn’t the kind of dream you had when asleep, but the type someone worked toward. He would graduate high school and get a job. Then he would make sure Yasuko didn’t have to worry, and never let go of Taiga, and they would live happily together. No one would laugh at his dream.

  He looked at the clock to check the time.

  Once work was over, he would know the answer. He would chase after Taiga, decide he would never let her go, ask her to tell him her feelings, and see with his own eyes whether something came out of it.

  “Were you lying?”

  But when he heard that voice, Ryuuji dropped the envelope filled with his wages.

  “You lied to me, didn’t you?”

  “Uh…”

  He wondered how long Yasuko had been there, on the store-lined street that ran along the national highway. How long had she been watching Ryuuji and Taiga? Taiga also swallowed her breath and froze in place.

  “Mom…”

  “You’re out of time. I’m going by the condo, so get your things together.”

  Yasuko was standing under a streetlamp wearing only a down coat over her loungewear. A Porsche was stopped behind her.

  “That’s your…mother? But…”

  It was a woman with even lighter chestnut colored hair than Taiga, put up in a relaxed updo. The woman’s stomach was huge. Her features were beautiful in a way that didn’t seem very Japanese, and she had a quiet expression. Taiga had just called her “Mom.”

  Taiga had said things with her mom had been going swimmingly, but when the woman walked briskly toward Taiga and tried to grab her hand, Ryuuji reflexively pulled Taiga close.

  “D-don’t touch me! Don’t ever touch me again!” Taiga yelled at her mother.

  It was obvious that her relationship with her parent—if that was her parent at all—was obviously not going swimmingly at all.

  “You must be Takasu-kun, right? I heard from Mr. Aisaka that you’ve been very close to her. Thank you. Please forget about my daughter. There was a situation, and she’s been cut off from the Aisakas, so she’s going to be living with me and my new family.”

  “Wh-who said I have to live…with your man and that kid?!”

  As if she were spitting fire, Taiga shrieked with rage. She tried to hide behind Ryuuji and trembled.

  “Wh-why?” said Ryuuji. “What’s going on? I don’t get what’s happening…”

  “Taiga-chan’s mother came by our house to look for Taiga-chan. We couldn’t get a hold of you through your cell phones, so we ended up going to the restaurant you said the two of you were studying at, Ryuu-chan. But you weren’t there either, so I called Kitamura-kun. Kitamura-kun told me you were working a part-time job here.”

  “I have a good reason for this—”

  “I’m not going to ask why you did it!” Yasuko looked as though she couldn’t see anything else as she raised her voice. “You promised you wouldn’t work! But you lied to me, Ryuu-chan, and broke your promise! I can’t let you do that!”

  “You can’t let me do that… Then what am I supposed to do, according to you?!”

  Ryuuji had his own piece to say as well. He wanted to tell Yasuko that her anger was unreasonable and that she was being one-sided.

  “You collapsed because you tried working extra for me! In that case, I’ll work in your place! What’s wrong with that?! We’re family! Isn’t it obvious that we should be helping each other out?!”

  “I don’t care how other families are doing things! In our house, you’re going to focus on studying! You’re not allowed to focus on anything else! I won’t allow it!”

  “Then…then! In that case! Don’t collapse!”

  Ryuuji threw the envelope with his wages onto the asphalt.

  “The only people who can tell others to focus on studying are people who’ve saved money up! That’s not something you’re allowed to say when you took on too much work and collapsed!”

  “I barely ever collapse! And even if I do, it’s fine! I don’t care what happens as long as you study really hard and figure out what you want to do and become a respectable person—that’s all I care about—that’s it!”

  “Just stop it!”

  Ryuuji was trembling all over.

  So in the end it was just about self-satisfaction? If that was the case, there was no need for him to worry. He shouldn’t have had to think about it. Why had he believed that parents didn’t have egos?

  “Who was the one who didn’t study?! Who was it that threw away what they wanted?! Who was the one who didn’t become a respectable person?! Isn’t this all…just about you?!”

  “Ryuu-chan…”

  “This is what your parents wanted from you, and then you betrayed them, rig
ht?! All you’re doing is trying to redo everything you couldn’t do because of me, but now you’re doing it as a parent! All you’re trying to do is make it so that you can accept it! All you want to do is make yourself a good kid again! In the end, I—”

  He watched Yasuko’s face turn blue. Ryuuji watched her face, thinking, strangely calmly, that this was what someone looked like the moment their soul was being crushed to pieces. He couldn’t stop talking.

  “If I were never there, you could have still been a good kid! You could have had that life! If I’d never been born, if you’d just never had me, you… My mom would have been happy! That’s always bothered me! You regret me… You regret ever having me!”

  He couldn’t stop his tears either.

  He couldn’t take back the words coming out of his mouth. Yasuko held her head and crouched down. She was shaking in a strange way, but it wasn’t like he could rush over to her.

  His existence was already a mistake. It was wrong.

  The days that seemed to glitter and shine, his happiness until that day, the times he’d laughed and cried, his friend’s faces, his worries, the things he’d come to understand—everything slipped away through his hands in the blink of an eye. It seemed to drain out of him. He realized that it all had instantaneously gone to pieces.

  “Ryuuji.”

  When someone seized his hand tightly, Ryuuji looked over.

  “Taiga…”

  Taiga’s mother was distracted by Yasuko’s flustered state. Ryuuji grasped Taiga’s hand tightly. Slowly, their legs moved. Then, all at once, the two of them started running.

  They wanted to go to a place where there was no one else.

  A place where they could be happy just being together.

  Ryuuji and Taiga ran, dreaming of a place like that.

  Snow began to fall without a sound. Even though it was cold, it never snowed during that time of year.

  It was probably the final snow of that winter.

  Afterword

  Whooooooa, it’s already fall! I can’t believe that summer’s already over!

  I can’t believe the one and only 30th summer of my life passed by so casually, without anything happening at all… Well, it’s not worth regretting, but when the seasons complete their cycle, and summer comes again, I’ll have aged even more. Thinking about it just makes me feel dejected. Maybe the only way to find value for my existence in this world is by trying to live a wise life. Like the little old lady on the Potapota Yaki crackers…

  Though I’m in this state, I’ve successfully been able to bring you Toradora! 9 without too much time passing since the last volume. Everyone who has followed along so far, thank you so very much for picking up this book, too! Now that the series has entered its tenth volume, I feel my debt of gratitude toward all my readers piling up. I can’t tell you how grateful I am. My readers all feel so close, so familiar, and so powerful to me. I think that getting these books to you is my one sole, certain bond with you all. That’s why I’m going to keep on writing more and more! I hope that you’ll continue to follow along with me in the future as well!

  Now then…I’ve used up my entire summer this year just taking round trips between my house, the café nearby where I write my manuscripts, and the supermarket. What if I was unknowingly drawing a demon summoning formation by going between these three spots this entire time? What if an unyielding, beautiful demon girl with long, silver, curled twin tails tied up in black satin ribbon were to appear in front of my eyes and say, “You performed the secret summoning ceremony, didn’t you?!” What if she had flickering blue eyes, ladylike limbs, a black bustier dress with black lace, and knee-socks that went up to her thighs? “You were the one who summoned me, so I’m going to make you take the responsibility for that! Hmph, what a miserable room! Having to both eat and sleep in this room is so wretched!”

  …Anyway, I’d slap her around, make her change into a tracksuit, and then have her clean the room. I’m not going easy on you! First, you vacuum! Next, you get all the water marks all over the window glass! Then stack all the complimentary copies from Dengeki Daioh together! Right, and now do that for the Sylph comics, too! Don’t you dare forget the bath and kitchen drains! Basically, my house is dirty to the MAX. I’ve broken my own record for dirtiness. It’s so bad, it makes me want to run away. I’m writing this afterword in the café, and that’s my (only) choice…

  Well, thank you so much for reading all the way to the end! The anime is starting soon, too! Whoa! I need to get ready for the broadcast by at least cleaning up around the TV!

  —Yuyuko Takemiya

  Thank you for reading!

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