Toradora! Vol. 9 Read online

  She didn’t breathe a word of complaint or tell him to let go. Instead of saying anything, she just concentrated her bottomless gaze on him. It felt as though she were roughly rummaging through the inside of Ryuuji’s head with her giant eyes. She stepped towards him in that overbearing way that no one else could ever mimic. With a strength that was difficult to oppose, Taiga pushed her way in on him. It was as though she tore apart the expansive canopy of dark sky over the sea in his imagination, and her white face was looking through into Ryuuji’s soul.

  Through the torn hole, Taiga offered a hand to Ryuuji as he drifted on the waves.

  Would he take it?

  “What am I supposed to do?! Are parents supposed to push themselves until who knows what happens to them?! How can I get Yasuko to stop doing that for me?! Will she ever get how I’m feeling?!”

  He grabbed Taiga’s tiny hand.

  “I—I just—”

  It was so small that, if he wanted to, he could have broken it.

  “I just hate it so much, but I can’t do anything about it…!”

  But he didn’t want to hurt her.

  He was insistent about that. He didn’t want to cling to Taiga. He could grab on to her hand, cry and wail emotionally, and expose all the pain in his heart—but Ryuuji desperately brushed aside that temptation.

  Because if he did that, he was sure Taiga would do something for him. Taiga was the kind of person who would do anything for him—for the person she loved. He couldn’t have that. That wasn’t okay.

  He couldn’t let her do something for him.

  He couldn’t let Taiga do anything.

  He couldn’t let her do something that would make her drown for his sake.

  That was because Taiga was important to him. She was someone he could never lose. He had realized painfully clearly during the blizzard.

  If she was important, then he needed to act like it and make sure she didn’t do anything for him. That was why he couldn’t show her his pain. He didn’t want her to know what was in his heart.

  He’d thought that finding connection was what fueled joy and helped people go on living. He hadn’t thought there was such a thing as not wanting others to understand his feelings.

  “I want to show Yasuko that I’m strong…”

  Strong? Taiga asked him back and nodded solemnly. Ryuuji’s mouth formed a line as he spoke with his trembling lips.

  “I’m not a kid anymore. Even if Yasuko isn’t helping me, I can swim through this world. That’s why she doesn’t need to strain herself for me anymore. All I can do is prove that to her. All I can do is thrust it in front of her eyes.”

  Like that, once again, he could only brush aside his mother’s hand. This time, he wouldn’t be a failure. He wouldn’t sacrifice anyone, and he wouldn’t have anyone drown for his sake.

  He used all of his might to open both of his hands and let go of Taiga’s. He righted himself back up again after having been so shaken, and he nodded slightly, There.

  It was fine this way.

  He had done it, hadn’t he? Just like he imagined.

  He held his breath and regathered his strength in his core. He looked down on Taiga’s white face. Taiga was looking at the hand he let go. Her delicate and beautiful face, like a French doll’s, was so perfectly composed that he couldn’t tell what emotion was on it. The midwinter wind, which cut his skin like a blade of ice, flipped Taiga’s soft bangs over. Ryuuji gently brushed away the strands of hair that stuck to her lips.

  Quietly, Taiga looked up at Ryuuji, and in both her eyes, he saw quivering lights close to overflowing.

  “Where are you going?”

  “I’ve thought of something I need to do.”

  “You can’t go.”

  He shook his head at Taiga’s anxious voice.

  “It’s fine. I can go.”

  Ryuuji took a step forward.

  Taiga kept following after him. Even if he told her to go home, she wasn’t the type of person to ever listen to him.

  The haberdasheries and stationery stores were, of course, already closed, but there were still residents on their way home, and the two supermarkets on the street were still open. The convenience store was spitting bright light onto the street, and the bookstores were still within operating hours. There were also several izakaya bars and a butcher shop, locally famous for its croquettes, that were open unexpectedly late.

  Ryuuji’s goal, however, wasn’t the croquettes.

  “So it really is closed…”

  “You had something you needed to do here?”

  Stopping, he stared at the closed shutters. The store name, Alps, was written in old-fashioned, cursive script on a wooden sign. It looked like a western-styled confectionary store. There was a phone number under the store name.

  He pulled out his phone and tried calling it. After it rang for a while, a message ran informing him that it was outside of their business hours and then went to voicemail. He felt a little flustered on the inside as he said, “I-I’m so sorry to call in the middle of the night. Um, I’m the son of Takasu Yasuko, the person you hired to work for you part-time recently. Well, there was something I needed to tell you…ah!”

  Beep. The heartless sound of the machine flowed out of the phone and the voicemail cut off. He was just about to tell them his phone number. Ryuuji hesitated for a moment over whether to call again and felt a poke at his elbow.

  “What’d you go ‘Ah!’ for? Was that their voicemail? They definitely heard the ‘Ah!’ Is this where Ya-chan is working part-time?”

  It happened the moment that he tried to reply to Taiga.

  Clatter clatter. The shutter opened by a few centimeters. From the still-lit-up interior of the shop, a middle-aged man in a cook’s coat bent over and peeked his head out. His eyes stopped on Ryuuji and Taiga.

  “Are you the one who just called our voicemail? We could hear you from inside.”

  “Oh, yes, that was me. Um…my name is Takasu. I’m your employee’s son.”

  Her soooon?! The man shouted with the usual reaction Ryuuji always got. The man pulled up the shutter and came out onto the street.

  “I’m sorry for coming when you’re already closed. Um…it’s about my mom, but she recently got sick.”

  “Huh, you mean Takasu-san? What happened? Is she okay?”

  “She’s more or less fine, but—”

  Taiga, who had been listening from the side lifted her eyebrows slightly. She probably knew what he was about to say.

  “She started working even though she shouldn’t have for my sake, and though it’s very sudden, I have to ask that you let her go today.”

  Whaaaat?! With the same expression and voice as before, the man who was probably the store owner bent over backwards. Taiga also looked at Ryuuji from the side of her eyes.

  Yes, he was acting on his own. Though Yasuko had informed Bishamon Heaven that she would be taking the day off, she probably intended to go back to this job like normal the next day. Though he knew it would cause trouble for the store, and he hadn’t gotten permission from Yasuko, Ryuuji had decided to have this conversation about her resigning on his own. He was going to lie to Yasuko and tell her that the store said she didn’t need to come in anymore.

  He knew this wouldn’t show her he was strong enough, but he wanted to do something to stop Yasuko from pushing herself too hard, even if it was by force. If he let her go on, Yasuko wouldn’t stop to think about what she was doing to herself physically, and he knew she would just keep increasing the amount of work she was taking on.

  “Whoa, I see… That’s going to be a bit of a problem. We were really counting on her.”

  “I’m sorry for causing you so much trouble.”

  “We can’t do anything about her being sick, but you think she can’t come back at all? We could shorten her hours. Would that work?”

  “Well, it’s a little… I’m really sorry.”

  “See, the day after tomorrow is Valentine’s. We’re doing
our usual hours tomorrow on top of planning to have a special sale on chocolates… What’ll I do, hmm, we only have our artisans… She’s sick, so she can’t force herself, but…hmm.”

  Ryuuji shrank back apologetically.

  “Could you do it?” The owner of the shop, who seemed to be in quite a bind, said something Ryuuji hadn’t expected. “You’re in high school, right? It’s fine if it’s after school. It’s fine if you only come tomorrow and the next day, too. Please, I’m begging you. We just don’t have enough hands.”

  No, I’m forbidden from working—Ryuuji start to turn the man down, but swallowed his words. Didn’t he just decide that he wouldn’t do everything Yasuko said?

  It wasn’t as though he was rebelling against everything she told him. He was doing for his future—it might be one step forward to changing his existence in a significant way.

  In order to brush aside his hesitation, he nodded before the store owner could change his mind.

  “Then I will…tomorrow and the next day.”

  Taiga looked up at Ryuuji’s face like she was surprised. It was fine this way. This was how he would get Yasuko to stop working here. First, he would return everything to the status quo.

  If he was honest with her, Yasuko would definitely be upset, so all he had to do was tell her there wasn’t a job for her at the store anymore. The time might come when she’d find out about Ryuuji’s part-time job, but at that moment, it was fine as long as she didn’t find out immediately after she collapsed.

  “Oh, thank goodness! Thanks so much, you’re my savior!”

  “It’s nothing, I’ll…”

  “When can you come tomorrow?!”

  The shop owner’s hand stretched out to him. Ryuuji tried to answer the handshake by stretching out his own hand in return, but his hand slipped in vain through the empty air.

  “Me?!”

  The store owner had brazenly grasped Taiga’s hand.

  “This hasn’t got anything to do with me?!”

  “Aren’t you his sister? Well, got that wrong!”

  Ha ha ha ha ha, the old man’s joke echoed emptily under the cold sky. “But we just have to have a girl do the selling. We don’t have a uniform for men.”

  “I can’t work! Do you have any idea how much of a klutz…if I work, the skies will part and the earth will burn…!”

  “You’d just be selling chocolates in boxes, so what’s the worst that could happen?! Just tell me when you can come tomorrow!”

  Um, I-I-I… Ryuuji pointed a finger at himself, but the owner’s eyes were passionately focused on Taiga. Taiga was frantically shaking her head, but she glanced up at Ryuuji’s face.

  “Then…then, I’ll come with him. We’ll do it together.”

  “Hey! Wait! You don’t need to…”

  The store owner scratched his chin as he nodded.

  “Hm, then it’s settled, but I can only pay one person. Is that fine? I wonder what I’ll do for his uniform.”

  “You can do whatever. I’ll just stick around, and he’ll be the one actually working.”

  Taiga stood imposingly, looking smug in Ryuuji’s down jacket as she stuck out her chest and pointed at Ryuuji. Stop, you don’t need to do that, Ryuuji tried to say, but she spoke again in a low voice, “You’re the one working. Just hanging around here isn’t a big deal for me. There’s something strange going on with you anyway. That’s why I’m going to be monitoring you. Plus, just earlier you were telling me how much of a nuisance I am and stuff. You said I couldn’t do anything. I’m going to have you take that back. Then you can bow down to my greatness and kindness and crawl along the ground worshipping me like a god.”

  And just like that, they closed the deal on the two-day, secret, part-time job.

  ***

  “A job! You!”

  Minori pointed at Taiga, looking at her with cold eyes.

  “It’s not me so much as Ryuuji.”

  Taiga’s finger pointed at Ryuuji’s nose. You! Minori turned her cold eyes on Ryuuji and nodded decisively.

  “It’s for just today and tomorrow. I’m selling Valentine’s chocolates. Do you have any secrets on how to sell stuff? He said that if we sold a lot in the two days, we’d get a good bonus, too.”

  “Secrets to selling, huh… Hmm, I guess just not to let it show on your face if something bad happens.”

  Mm-hmm, mm-hmm, Taiga listened to the advice as she pulled on Minori’s sports bag, as though entreating her.

  “That’s heavy,” Minori said as she brushed Taiga’s hand away. “And when the manager’s eyes open, you get away as quick as you can.”

  “That only applies to your ramen place, Minorin…”

  Their classes were done for the day, and they had finished saying goodbye. The bachelorette (age 30) had called out Taiga during lunch, but it seemed the conversation hadn’t really been that fruitful. Taiga wasn’t in the mood to actually listen to a lecture.

  Minori was comparing their faces happily.

  “Putting the jokes aside, I think you don’t really have to worry if you’re just a salesclerk.”

  There we go—the girl with outstanding reflexes lobbed her empty juice pack. Standing at the center of the classroom, she threw the pack right into the trash bin at the entrance.

  “There, nice! You’re not doing kitchen work, so it seems like a great job, right? When it comes to selling Valentine’s day chocolates, today is the main event. If anyone’s going to give someone chocolates, they would buy them today. What’s the place you’re working at?”

  “Ummm, what was it again?”

  “Alps.”

  At Ryuuji’s response, Minori’s voice pitched up. “Whoa.”

  It seemed she was familiar with the store.

  “I’ve been there before to buy their tarte Tatin! I see. You’re going to become part of that fancy background at the Alps, huh, Takasu-kun?”

  “I know I don’t really fit in…”

  “Ryuuji was supposed to be working by himself, but he’s so out of place that the owner almost said no. He said he’d hire Ryuuji if I came, too. Ryuuji was so sad. That’s why I’m going with him,” Taiga explained with strange obstinacy.

  “That sounds pretty nice?”

  Minori put her sports bag back on and turned a smile like a budding flower to the wall clock. It seemed she needed to head to softball. Next, she pointed a finger right at Ryuuji’s face.

  “Okay! I’m going to be cheering you on, Takasu Ryuuji! Do your best on the first part-time job you’ve had in your life! Take the crimson impact!”

  “Right… What’s that supposed to be?”

  Scarlet needle! Minori jokingly jabbed her fingers a few times, turned right on her heel, and then left the classroom ahead of them.

  Yasuko healed right up after sleeping for a night. While she wasn’t over-drinking, and she promised she would finish work before midnight, Ryuuji really wanted her to take a longer break. On the other hand, her regular customers would make sure she didn’t push herself, and he’d do a better job of that than she would herself. She believed the lie he told her. “I have an exam the day after tomorrow, so today and tomorrow I’m going to study with Taiga and Kitamura and the others at a family restaurant.”

  There was one other lie. He told her that the night before, after Yasuko went to bed, there had been a call from Alps saying something to the effect that she didn’t need to come back. Yasuko believed that lie more easily than he’d expected. She looked disappointed for a second, but then immediately lifted her head and laughed. “That happens sometimes. I’ll find another good job. ☆”

  For some reason, she rubbed Ryuuji’s head like a child’s. Even though he was the biggest mommy’s boy under the skies, it was awkward.

  The guilt from lying hit him heavier than he’d expected.

  “There are two prices, okay? The bigger box is five hundred eighty yen, tax included. You press this yellow button on the register. The small one is three hundred eighty yen with tax and
you hit the blue button. You put the money you get inside and press the transaction button.”

  Ka-ching. The register made a familiar sound as it opened and hit Taiga in the stomach, “Ngh.”

  “You put the products in this plastic bag or in this paper one. Okay? Think you can do it?”

  “Yes. I can do it. I think.”

  Ryuuji was full of enthusiasm as he stood in front of the register. In order to practice, the owner said, “This please,” in a grossly high-pitched voice as he handed Ryuuji one of the big boxes and showed him one thousand yen. Without hesitating, Ryuuji pressed the yellow button, punched in 1000, and then hit transaction. The register popped open, and he grabbed the change the register indicated.

  “Thank you very much!”

  Grin!

  “Uh! We’re definitely having Aisaka-san do that part!”

  “Thank you very much!”

  Responding to the owner’s call, Taiga turned around and broke out into a fake smile. All I’m doing is saying that, she said.

  Yeah, good, the owner nodded. “Over here.” He pushed Taiga to stand right in front of Ryuuji, like he was trying to hide him, which was apparently “Perfect!” What’s that supposed to mean? Ryuuji thought.

  After saying that, the owner went back into the store. Busy-looking people passed by Ryuuji and Taiga’s eyes. The wagon piled with pre-packaged chocolates had been put out under the eaves of the store, right into the cold December winds.

  Under the midwinter sky, which was starting to darken, it was still a little too early for shopping on the store-lined street. There were some chatty private high school students from a school nearby walking around. “Oh, they’re selling chocolates!” “I guess tomorrow’s Valentine’s,” they were saying as they pointed at the wagon, but they just passed through.

  The owner had placed a stove at their feet, so they wouldn’t be shivering from the cold.

  “There’s way more than I thought there would be, but…I’m pretty sure it’d be impossible to sell out of these.”

  As she stood right under the Valentine’s Day ornament that hung from the eaves, Taiga stared at the wagon and cocked her head. A load of pristine chocolates was piled into the shape of a mountain. They had cardboard boxes full of more chocolates underneath, too.